things people can and can’t handle

7 08 2011

thought out life there are always people that can and can’t handle certain things [and I say for the things that a person can’t handle block ’em…. and that thought came to me last night in a wave of emotions]. Those emotions can be very hard to contain at times, especially when I have sooo much anger towards ONE PERSON in my life [again I have no choice for him to be there, he just is]. But thankfully last night I had a few people to help keep my mind off of him and him being a total dumbass [like always, but what else is new], & I’m now expressing my annoyance in a blog post. And trying to figure out the best way to put my emotions into words so I can get them completely out and not have to deal w/ them anymore. But everytime I start typing a sentence its like my brain goes to jello, not fun.

I think that I’m going to have to continue this blog post when I get my thoughts some what together…..


pouring my soul a cup of coffee

5 08 2011

It’s been a very long week, and I’m afraid that next week is going to be even longer. There is a certain person that’s apart of my life [that will be for the next 15yrs… whether I like it or not] that decided to see how big of a asshole he could be towards me and my family [who have done nothing but be nice to him]. But as the cycle goes for most abuser’s its NEVER ENDING!!!! And I’m doing my damnest to not let it affect too much of my life…. that’s where my RUNNING comes in.

I have actually been sticking to my training plan all week… and I’m very very proud of myself for that one :). But I did hit one brick wall, when I was asking myself why oh why did I decide to sign up for a 1/2 marathon… and why in the hell am I doing a 2nd 1/2 marathon when I haven’t even ran the 1st one… oh I know. B/c I need goals to keep me powering through all the emotional bullshit that I have going on w/in me right now. And having that structure through out my days/weeks he actually helping me out a ton. My brain works at a million mile an hour pace and running seems to slow it down so I can actually put a full-thought together. But even those thoughts seeming come out in mumbojumbo thoughts when I try to speak them. They all tend to leave me saying ‘HUH????? What in the hell were you thinking?!!?!?!??’.

After a hard week like this week all I can say is that I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE…… LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY SON!!!!! Yes he can get on my nerves [hence the nick name Buggy….] but I would never trade him for the world. I know that I gush about him all over my blog, but I honestly can’t help it. Everything that I am doing right now is to provide him and I with a good life. And no matter how many hats that this mad-hatter has to wear to make that happen, I will make it happen. There is nobody else left for him and I to depend on, but ME. And w/ that said that’s a lot of pressure, but I’m way up for the challenge that it is going to bring me…. My Love for him will get me through anything and everything that life attempts to throw my way.

So did the cup of coffee for my soul wake me up???? Maybe just a tad….. 😉

paying the price for Buggy’s non-exsistant listening ears

26 07 2011

I just love it sooo much when adults ask kids to NOT DO SOMETHING, then they feel compelled to do it anyways. And when the kiddies get hurt its the adults who end up paying the price. So how am I paying the price for Buggy NOT listening… he’s home w/ me b/c he jammed his big toe on his foot from jumping off the couch [after Granny told him NOT to]. So that made for a great nights sleep last night [again I’m paying the price], and I’m Ms. Grumpy today [so now the rest of the population has to pay for it].


…. so here’s to a million other times that Buggy doesn’t listen and I have to pay the price later 🙂

my Future is one RACE at a time :)

22 07 2011

I totally should have posted something like this earlier, but I’m a total goldfish [as my wineparty gal says ;)]. But these are a list of my Running Races that I plan on competing in thus far [I’m going to add a few more here and there to keep my training in check]

The Race that started it all for me

October 9, 2011

I’m running this race w/ my bestest Army-wife and fellow Mommy gal-pal. My goal is to finish this race in 2hr45min.

… and my next 1/2 marathon is [yes I’m planning my 2nd 1/2 marathon b4 I even complete my 1st… I gotta keep the goals going :)] …. Feb. 24-26, 2012 & its the

I’m running this as a reminder that I’m my own Princess and damnit I’m going to have a blast… I totally can’t freakin’ wait to be w/ all of the Road Runner Princess’s out there 🙂

…. I have a few races that I’m doing in the mean time…. [only b/c my 1/2 marathon training plan calls for ’em]

This is September 2, 2011 and this is going to be my 10k 🙂

… and finally this race is just going to be 1mile, but I’ve talked my Mom and the rest of my family to join me 🙂

December 3, 2011

… this next race is depending on how my legs feel after my 1/2 marathon

Its October 22, 2011, & its Rotary Oktoberfest…. So like I said we shall see how my legs are doing after my 1/2 🙂

………………………….thats all my races that I have planned for the next 7 or 8 months 🙂 I have come to the realization that I do better when I have goals set up, and that doesn’t leave me time to focus on the crap that is in the past. Also w/ the stressors of everyday life [being a single Mommy and everything that comes w/ it] I need my training miles to keep my head clear so that way I can parent J w/o having a cloud of negativity hanging over me.

What inspires you….

22 07 2011

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I am often wondering what things that I can visually look at through out the day that will inspire me to be the best person I know that I can become. And about a week ago I just loved a ‘wall picture’ on my friends Facebook account & after I clicked the link it too me to Pure Nourishment []. It was in the ‘photo albums’ from this page that I have found some of the most profound yet said simply to touch my life in ways that when I’m feeling down I can ready any of these inspiration quotes and pictures and know that there will be a better day.

There are a few other people that bring inspiration to my life:

My parents: I love them dearly and I will NEVER be able to repay them for the kindness that they have showed me over the past few years. The only thing that I can hope to learn from them is to show my son the same kindness when he gets into a tough spot. [that’ll be the only way that I know how to repay them for everything they have showed to me over the years]

My Buggy-Wuggy-Boo: I don’t think I can ever put into words what my little boy means to me, and how he inspires me to be a better person and to do bigger and better things with my life. When i was in my abusive relationship w/ myX, the very last time the three of us were ever in the car together myX slapped me across my mouth [caused a split on the inside of my lip] and I just remember looking back to my Buggy and seeing his face at that moment. His face showed that he was scared, angry, and very very sad. And after the shock of what myX did to me wore off, I got angry. And I got angry at myself that I didn’t leave sooner [but on the other hand I kno that you can not predict the future… you can only learn your lesson’s from the present and the past] and that’s when I made my mind up that I was going to leave and get a divorce. So Buggy inspired me to get up and take charge of my life so I could be the best mother I can be to him. When I am down and out about anything, it only takes a hug and a kissie from my Buggy to bring me right back to the place that I am in and that I am still a work in progress.

My Running Mommy Gals: We all come from different walks of life, but we all have one major thing in common; we all live for our kids. And by living we are all taking the best care we can of our selves by exercising [mainly running… hence the group name ;)], and by living the best lives that we all can [with the stressors of Mommy-hood and everything else in between]. They have all been there for me in any way they can [mainly by reading posts and responding w/ the love and care that is needed… and sometimes the harsh words when needed :)]. So I thank them all for posting their daily activities that motivated me to slowly leave my stationary life behind and to get actively moving forward w/ my Buggy.

My Past: For teaching me the lessons that I will carry into my future and to help me grow and become a better person.

FINALLY…. my FUTURE: You are the bright light at the end of a not-so-dark tunnel that is never ending. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow has to offer and to live it to the fullest w/ the most important people in my life by my side. 🙂

a Modern Retro Mommy in the works….

19 07 2011

I never thought that some of my habits would be considered ‘old-school’ [or a cooler word…. retro]. Its a funny thing about habits that you don’t really think about that when you one day try to update those habits into a more modern way that you realize how retro they are.

Here is a prime example…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I have always been one to make todo lists after todo lists, and some how checking off the stuff that I needed to get done is highly gratifying, and gives me the sense of accomplishment for the day. Even if it was to make sure I only ate lunch [which when I’m really busy, I tend to forget to do at times]. I have tried to use my SMARTphone as my todo list maker, and my calender, but I can’t seem to break away from my retro ways. And that’s ok, there are plenty of people out there that have smartphones that still revert to their own retro ways.

Another one of my retro ways is writing in my journal VS. blogging online. I have had trouble w/ both making sure that I keep up w/ them both. I don’t know how many journals that I have that are only 1/2 assed finished, and how many blogs that I just don’t ever follow through with. And so I ask; does anybody else have this problem???

When I am blogging/journal writing my thought processes are never complete, so I guess in my mind that nobody is really going to want to read what I have to say [yes I know that I have a few loyal friends that will read my ramblings w/ glee and smile through them… and I love them for it… So leave me comments darn it =P]

So I have fully decided that I am going to try my best to be the best ‘Modern Retro’ Mommy that I know I can be. And instead of doing what the modern world thinks is right, just do what feels right for me.


Rubbed the WRONG way

4 07 2011

Well I had a experience the other day running that is another check mark on the list of what makes me a runner. CHAFFING IN THE QUEEN VICTORIA area…. no I’m not kidding [although I wish that I was, and so does Queen Victoria and her bum-bum]. And this leads me to try and remember all of the other things over the past 2/3 years that have added up to me being a runner.

My 1st outdoor run [I remember it like it was yesterday]. It was only a short run, but it was one that left a lasting impression on me. I just remember the feeling that I could just lace up my shoes and just go out for a run and enjoy the Earth that Mother Nature put out for all of us to enjoy.

The 1st time I used the bathroom outdoors…. I remember thinking ‘OMG I am sooo going to get caught and my husband is going to hear about it’… but that didn’t happen. And I just remember thinking about how freeing it felt to do that… which leads me to my next item on my list….

-My 1st run in the rain……. I dont’ fully remember when that was, but I have to say that it was one of my most freeing feelings during my running experiences.

Yes all those experiences keep me coming back for more in turms of running… but there have been some down sides to my running

Hurting my shins, knee, and my heel…. Yes those injuries could have derailed me, but like OTHER AREAS in my life I have nursed those wounds and powered on and it in turn has made me a much stronger person.

So like the rest of the runner’s out there we all do things that make us runner’s in our own rite, but we are all united by the free therapy that we receive when we lace up our shoes and just pound those negative feelings into the ground.